Taming the Anxiety Beast - Tracey's Story

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I get it, you know.

The overwhelming feelings. Not being in control of yourself. A short fuse. Anger. Stress. Regret because you yelled at your kids. The guilt for feeling like a failure as a mother; for not being able to do it like everyone else. The guilt because you think you’re ruining your kid’s lives with your chaotic ups & downs. The constant, degrading self-chatter.

I get it because this was me, too.

Throughout my life, I’ve dealt with significant anxiety even though until recently, I didn’t actually realise it. I’ve held some really awesome and successful roles in my career and done some good things with my life. I’ve been a daughter, a ballerina, a friend, a straight A student. A worker, a boss, a wife & a mum. And through it all, my anxiety’s been right there keeping me company.

I took him to my school exams. He held my hand at my first job interview. He danced with me at every club I went to in my 20’s. He was with me the night I met my partner but somehow didn’t scare him away (although he tried REALLY hard to). I brought him with me to my wedding. He sure as hell came along to the birth of each of my boys. Anxiety was, after all, my best friend. He came with me EVERYWHERE.

I subconsciously calmed my bestie with an array of treatments as I got older: Wine, beer, clothes, house goods, new & more esteemed jobs, bigger & better homes, a beautifully kept & stunningly styled house, a perfect husband & 2 well-mannered boys. Oh, and I can’t forget the dog to round out the perfect family. But nothing stopped him. He just kept getting more devious. He LOVED me and he would never dream of leaving me. We were life partners!

Then came the day I realised my son was heading down my well-travelled path. You know the point you get to where you actually frighten yourself into acknowledging you’ve got a problem? Mine was the day I noticed my son displaying my own behaviours (the constant checking in, not the alcohol – he was only 8, lol). What the hell was I doing to my kids? Insert here some deep soul searching and a good, long, hard look at myself.

And then I was off on a quest to find the real me, the calm inside me I knew had to be there.

Around this time, I met a mum from my son’s school who was a Reiki Therapist. It reminded me I’d forgotten I was actually quite spiritual when I was younger. I went to church with my family when I was little and when they stopped going, I went with our neighbours. In primary school I made friends with the cleaner (a bit weird now that I think about it) and my sister and I went off to Sunday School every week for quite a few years at his church. My Mum once told me she thought I was going to be a Nun because I used to run inside whenever the Christian ads came on the telly. I remember I loved being spiritually connected but somehow during my high school years, I stopped relying on God and started questioning all things science & reality[1]. I hadn’t realised how much I missed this connection to something bigger than myself. It was time to build a bridge back to God[2].

I need to tell you here that I also use medication to help keep my old friend at bay. Originally it was prescribed for a gut issue I’ve had since my late teens (with no treatment that’s worked to date). It’s a really low dose of what I now know is a drug for anxiety. And what a difference this drug began to make. A clear & quiet mind! Was this what other people felt like? The space between my thoughts allowed me to focus on further letting go of my old friend Anxiety by incorporating complementary therapy into my lifestyle.

I studied Reiki with an awesome Master. I started treating myself & my boys. I moved onto treating friends and then to treating clients. I learnt about Crystals and I hungrily researched scientific evidence to support the legitimacy of Reiki & crystal therapies. I devoured books on thoughts and how they link to the physical body and the massive part they play in living up to your potential. I read research into quantum physics and the connection to consciousness. I started practicing yoga & daily meditation. I talked to God a lot. I listened to my intuition and if I’m completely honest, I also conversed with my spirit guides[3].

Alongside my road to self-discovery, my son was also dealing with some issues of his own which were successfully treated with Reiki & crystals (read his story here). This spurred me on even more.

All the while I had a gnawing feeling I was supposed to share this stuff to help other people just like myself. To help mums and their kids with easy & simple tools & techniques to find some inner peace.  To help them know themselves and see their inner light. To help them connect to the support of something greater than themselves so they never have to struggle alone again. To know that a COMBINATION of traditional & complementary therapy is a really awesome treatment plan because it works!

And then I met another wonderful woman who sparked the idea for an online business to share my experience with people the world over. It’s not an accident that we met. When you’re on the right soul path, people just show up to help you move faster along it.

And so here I am. The Philosopher’s Stones is 7 months in. I’m evolving as I go and I keep tweaking what I do to share all that I’m learning every day. I’m exposed. I’m open. The mask of the perfect person has been ripped off. My old friend Anxiety is gone but not forgotten. He occasionally shows up for a chin wag but he never overstays his welcome. I don’t profess to be perfect by any means (that would just be boring!) but the constant jittering in the pit of my stomach is a distant memory.

I am good.

I am happy most of the time.

I am just me being me, sharing my journey so you can be you, from a place of excitement, passion and love for women & kids that are struggling inside. I’m here to let you know there IS a way to feel different and if you want to begin, I’ll gladly walk beside you all the way xx

 

If you would like to find out more about how Reiki & crystals could work for you, please contact me on 0405494889 or tracey@thephilosophersstones.com.au for a confidential discussion today.

 

[1] Light bulb! - Maybe this was when my old friend Anxiety payed me a visit for the first time?

[2] I want to add that I’m not religious in the Christian Bible sense of the word (although I used to be when little). I use the word God because that’s what feels right for me. You yourself may use the terms Universe, Spirit, Buddha, Allah, Angels, Higher-self, etc. Whatever feels right for you.

[3] I have often questioned my ability to connect with my guides (like, am I crazy? Do I really think this is real?) but there have been too many signs to indicate that I’m receiving information that’s also being shared by other people in this industry. Nearly word for word to be exact. I think we’re all being called to connect to something bigger than ourselves and to wake each other up. The world’s gone mad with information overload, separation from each other and fear & hate.

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